The Dark Night of the Soul
My journey to God is that of the prodigal son coming home. Bless the people who do not need proof to believe. I am not that. I am Thomas. Now, I am drawn to the Christian mystics. I think in other lifetimes, I might practice Sufism or Taoism. Each of us has a different spiritual path. You walk yours, I walk mine. This poem is written in remembrance of my darkest days — the days of deep depression.
Oh vanity!
It is all vanity!
You took away everything!
You left me there
Wailing in ashes
You threw me away
Into the realm of hungry ghosts
My lung was hungry for air
You took my spirit prisoner
I looked up searching for You
All I saw were black moon and black stars
The sky was blood red
Thick with regret and anger
The flowers wilted
The food I ate tasted like dust
The water was inky
The earth spat me back
I wondered
If I tasted Your wrath or love
Meaningless
It is all meaningless!
Oh the malady of the heart!
You purified my soul with fire
I felt the ugliest
Youth and vitality left me!
You broke my heart into pieces
Yet You rebuilt my heart again
To flow within Your vast river
I closed my eyes
And prayed with all my heart
